Mary Hendra brings curiosity, creativity, and compassion to individuals and teams through Move with Grace. Redefining “play” for the modern, busy adult, her workshops and cohort programs foster self-reflection and build clarity so that you can take action.
A Smile
Smile…A few weeks ago, my husband and I were walking back from the nearby park, chatting, when we encountered a neighbor. We didn’t have the dog we sometimes care for, so we didn’t have to watch for all of the things that can be potential trouble for a dog. It was just us and the neighbor. She was walking slowly towards us. She smiled as she approached, and we both naturally, genuinely responded with smiles. Of course we would, right? |
Smiles beget more smiles. The neighbor immediately piped up, thanking us for smiling. ”When you live on your own, you don’t see many smiles. I miss them.” It stopped me short. It hurt my heart. We were just passing each other when she had said “thank you,” so we went back to her and talked a bit more. We expressed surprise when she shared that not many people smile these days. we spent a few more minutes in conversation, and it has stuck with me ever since. I’ve been paying more attention to walkers since then. Our neighborhood has a lot of dogs, so many people are watching the leash, the other dogs, the potential things to smell and places the dog(s) could get into. But, there are also those in a hurry or just really focused. And, of course, those on phones: taking calls, listening to music/podcasts, sending texts or emails, just checking apps - sometimes while also with dog or in a hurry. This lovely, gentle woman undoubtedly encounters many walkers who don’t smile back, because they aren’t paying enough attention to see her smile. A missed opportunity. I’ve just started reading “Selfless: the Social Creation of ‘You’” (Brian Lowery, PhD), and this passage reminded me of my neighbor:
”Think about the last time a stranger gave you an unexpected compliment. How did it feel? How might it have affected the way you interacted with someone else later that day? Maybe it brightened your mood. Maybe it made you feel a little more confident. Now imagine how a happier, more confident you behaved the rest of your day and interacted with others. Other people’s behavior changes the way we feel, what we think, and the way we behave.”
For many years, I drove a green VW Beetle with car lashes. One of the things I loved was that there was rarely a trip I took with that car - even when I drove less than a mile to work and back - when somebody did not stop, point at the car with its lashes, and smile. It was fun to see. And I hope it always brought a smile from me in return. And to Dr. Lowery’s point, I inherently knew that driving that car, I needed to be ready to smile. It was so recognizable and so likely to bring a smile - even from the tow truck driver who picked it up when it finally, after 20+years of service, stopped running on its own. How could I not smile back? How often do you actually, genuinely, unapologetically and spontaneously smile? Could you do it today? Wishing you a smile given, a smile received, and lingering joy to carry you through the day, Mary |
7845 Westside Dr. #152, San Diego, CA 92108 |
Move with Grace
Mary Hendra brings curiosity, creativity, and compassion to individuals and teams through Move with Grace. Redefining “play” for the modern, busy adult, her workshops and cohort programs foster self-reflection and build clarity so that you can take action.
April 2024 Breath of Grace Happy New Year! Oh wait, is it April? Hmmm Yeah…. I guess it’s been a year. In case you’re curious - the 2023 is because I use old calendars as journals. I like the weight of the paper, and somehow it seems easier to draw, cut, or paste all over a page that is already imperfect. So it turns out, this may be my first email of the year. You may not have noticed, but I missed you! I purposely scaled back quite a bit last year as I started on some particularly demanding...
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